Isn’t an Agnostic just an Atheist without any balls?
All joking aside, what do I mean when I say that I’m an Agnostic? It’s a great question and one that I’ve been asked often. Different people have a different understanding of what the word means and it applies to each person a little different much the same as every Christian is not a carbon copy of the next.
First and foremost, I’m not an atheist and that is an important distinction to me. By definition an atheist would say there absolutely is no God and an agnostic would say that we cannot know for sure if there is a God.
…that felt very patronizing…we all know the basic definitions involved here…I apologize. Let’s move on and pretend that didn’t just happen.
To get back on track, the question was, what does it mean that I have chosen this label for myself?
Let’s start with what I’m not. As I mentioned, I’m not an atheist. Is there a God? I don’t know. But I have no problem with others believing that there is a God and choosing to live their lives based upon that conviction. An atheist, by very definition, is diametrically opposed to those that believe God exists. I’m not. My father and both my grandfathers are pastors and have spent their lives dedicated to the service of others and the teaching of the Bible. They are three of the most honorable and upstanding men I have ever known and I have the greatest amount of respect for them and the selfless love they have shown to me and so many others. They taught me what it means to be a man. They pray for me every day. They are true men of conviction and I would die to defend their right to live out their faith and share it with others. In short, I’m not anti-Christian or anti-God (and if you ever talk shit about my dad, I’ll kick your ass).
So if we covered what I’m not, then what am I? Anyone that knows me, knows that I am a person of conviction, morals, and integrity. That hasn’t changed. I’m also still the gangly accident-prone goofball that some of you had the pleasure of growing up with. What has changed is the basis of my moral code and the motivation for the decisions I make on a daily basis. As a Christian, I consulted the Bible and lived my life according to it’s teachings. While that’s no longer the case, I still agree with much of it and my worldview is heavily influenced by my Christian upbringing. For now, I won’t dissect that further. That’s the whole purpose of this blog, telling my story of what it means to be an Agnostic PK.
PK is slang for Pastor’s Kid…DANG IT…Why do I keep doing that! We’re not a bunch of idiots here, DIETZ! End on a high note with a pithy tag-line tying it all back into the name of the blog, not by insulting their intelligence…stupid…
As an agnostic – what was the best argument or that convinced you that God might not (or likely does not) exist? Or better yet, what core Biblical truth that you would have confessed before has come up lacking and therefore has shown Biblical Christianity to be false?
I wouldn’t say there was one argument or one core thing that convinced me. Some of the dysfunction I saw over and over again in different Christian organizations was the catalyst for me to start looking more closely and questioning things in general. When I began to allow myself the freedom to question, without an agenda to prove or disprove, but really with the goal of testing and evaluating for the purpose of refreshing my faith, I began to take issue with certain concepts like Heaven and Hell and their incongruity with the concept of a loving God. This began my journey of a systematic evaluation of all of the core beliefs and tenants of Christianity. In the end, agnostic is the best way to summarize where I landed.
I just found your site and I can tell you that I 100% relate. I am also a PK, fluent in Christianese and just not sure about living in the bubble. I’ve enjoyed the first three posts and if I can remember to check I will definitely be following more! Thanks for sharing!
Thanks, Anna! I’m glad you are enjoying it. If you sign up as a follower, you will receive an email each time I publish a new post. Take care!
Hi Dietz! I’m so glad I’ve found you! I love that you are so authentic and honest about who you are now. Life is a journey. Obviously, I am behind on this coming out. Sorry, this is what happens when I don’t have facebook and I am not really good at keeping in touch with people. It is easier to hide behind my “busy-ness” then to connect and have relationship with people who means a lot to me. I also appreciate you breaking it down and defining who you are and where you stand as far as your beliefs. I hope that you are doing well. Still praying for you!
Thanks! Good to hear from you. How you are doing well. Miss you guys!